Red Flags vs Green Flags: The Brutally Honest Dating Debate (ft. Megan) | Sex & The One Podcast

Welcome to Sex in the one the podcast with B and KB, down and dirty about all things, love, life, sex, dating and relationships.Welcome back to sex of the one podcast with B and KV No, really. Whatabout a serious question, a seriousnote, Megan. We came across Megan. We came across Megan. We actually don't even really know how. No, we don't. Still have not reverse engineered that. We were discussing this yesterday, randomly. Yeah, we did some searching. But clearly what she does works. Yeah, she landed on our search engines when we were looking for the right person to enhance and promote sex in the London podcast. So we reached out to me again. Actually, Chris reached out to me. And I'm pretty sure, basically, we were really there because, of course, the right person we needed to find. And so therefore we said we have sex podcast, and we detailed all the things and all the things we'd like to do and all that sort of stuff. And I remember writing, and within about an hour, I think we got a response. You were the only person that actually responded. In that timeframe. Work very quickly, yes, like, We want someone to respond in out, right? And you were that person. And then we, the next day, we had either Facebook, online meeting anyway, from there, basically meeting our friend, yes, but she also does a lot of work behind the scenes, very grateful, promoting and marketing what it is now today, which is, you know, yeah, which we're really proud of, yeah, like, how far we've come, yeah, I'm excited to be here, not behind things, yeah. And because Megan actually thought of and is the brain behind this episode, so we thought it would be best that she actually, she's gonna think of it. Well, we've had an online relationship for half a year, so we thought we better bring you in person from another state, so we just make shit happen. She's a make sheet happen. Yes, time for anything else. You're gonna make it happen. Yeah, that's it. Why should we go? Let's do it. Let's do it. So we're talking red flags, green flags. Today. I'm so excited about something, because I went through these with some of the team, and we were opposite, and I know the one of you pretty well now, and I cannot wait and for our listeners to hear and form their own opinions. All right, yes. Are we ready? Yes, we're ready Yes, we are ready. First one has many opposite sex friends and always invites you to group hands. So if someone has opposite sex friends, yeah, they invite you to group hangs. You're always invited. Anne's got a bunch of girlfriends, but you're invited. Oh, yeah, that's fine. That's nice. We bring flagging up, yeah? We bring bugging up. Okay, still, they do have lots of like, girlfriends and make an example, yeah? Like, lots of school parents. Half the time I can't always be there when aunts and or vice versa. So who'll be going to coffees with, like the mums and then I go to coffee with, like, the husbands on different days? Yeah? But there's not, there's never that one. Yeah, all right, still chats with an ex on family birthdays, on family birthdays that that's a red what's the family birth to an ex, his parents or family member, red, and the reason I'm gonna explain myself, please do why my in laws, I would absolutely have seven birthday to them, of course, every year after we separate. So together, 19 years I had four children, and that's their grandchildren, and I did never cut any of them out because wasn't fair for them in that moment, in any other x I'm in full group. Yeah, that's different, yeah, all right, shares their location only during travel, I'd say around the time. Not comfortable sharing only whenthey're traveling. Keep it on at all times. Ineed to say this. I have B's location at all times. We don't care. To share our laws with you one time. Yeah, and then we just ended up because I was just because I do look mine. And the reason I look mine is because my son is in England, and I want to know where he is. Sometimes it's fun to go. Oh, well, it's been today. And so I bought the list there, and he's on the list. So, yeah, all my kids are. I don't know where my kids are, too bad. I don't like supervise them the safety thing. Yeah, it is, yeah, okay. Prefers texting over calls most days. Is thatOh, look. Oh, I don't know what to pick that. I mean, two minds about this one same. Because I know lots of couples that still have separate finances that are I find for me. And I think I said this before, but that's odd for me. I'll just go with my own. I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say green for family for now. So when I was in your position, I 100% with you and agree with you, because there's children involved, and you both contribute to relationships, so therefore the money should share me. Now I'm creating legacy for my children that is not any future partner I have is not gonna have access to Yeah, I think it's important for women to have their own backup. Yeah. 100% Yeah. This is like the easy to get them. I will keep my money to myself. I would absolutely not. Yeah, my money's the money. Yeah, you're established. I went too hard because someone come in, yeah, yeah, absolutely. And it's different in visa, okay, lock certain photo albums for privacy. Oh, could it be better? What's better than bread? Just watching? Red?go to YouTube, keeps a close friend as a standing plusopposite sexclose friend? Yeah, look no, I don'tlike it well. Saying that you're like, you're always like, you're always gonna be sick. Like, yeah, like, like, for example, eat with us. Be you're married to ANTH and I'm a good friend. I don't I'm backup friend. I'm just as important in a different way, yeah? But you could let you go onholiday, yeah, I love it. BuysNow look, planning dates. That's fine. Last minute all time, so that's fine. Like, it's fine. I understand you have ADHD. It's fine. It's true. It's honestly true. I'm like, planetsmind, so Okay, asks to slow the physical pace even with strong chemistry. He's doing that. Yeah, oh, oh. Why is he doing that? Ask him. He wants to slow the physical pace even with strong chemistry. Maybe, maybe he's been, you know, respectful, and wants to. He's allowed to do that because he's probably his because he's probably his choice. But if he's doing that for me, fuck off. Like, my value does not decrease, so I fucked you. Yeah, yeah. If he's doing for him, then that's his body. He's allowed. If he's getting it elsewhere, it doesn't really so you would be concerning. Don't you think you're like, in like, like, your date, and you're like, you know what the endgame is? Most women out thereare dating for Germany,the one, yeah, okay, she's a tick tock. Find I'm fine. Makeup by Alexandra, if you're listening, yes, she's amazing. She's really interesting dating stories, and the way that, yeah, we need to find her. Okay, why do you think about in this question? Because her dating stories are that interesting and bizarre. She's gotten out of a two year relationship, and she's just back on the scene. She's on off the apps, like it's very similar to what you share, but she's actively looking to, obviously, wed at some point and be with someone for a long point in time, and the guys out there fucking rank. Yeah, it's true. Actually, she talks about it openly. Any single woman at the waist, she said, comedian. Oh, very funny. Definitely very funny. Um, quickly on emotional intimacy, but slowly on labels. Yes, you have to. If you're emotionally connected and you're like, you've opened that door, wouldn't you be able to label sure I agree and what happens? This has happened to me many times where they're happy to share like the depths of their soul, but not tell anyone that they're with me and with me, and it's keeping the options open. And they love, like, all the things they could get from me, but they don't want to retire on that.It's no good. It's no good. All right, every bill exactly.I don't hate that.I don't know. I don't hate that I hate that's my autism stuff. And pay for me, yep. But like, it's right. Like we're talking about dollars and cents, like, you owe me $25.70 a dinner. I'll be like,I'll say 30 cents. I agree. Yeah,we're not doing that, okay? Is often recognized by name at bars and venues, theI like it well. He's known gets around town, make the town ready and places and have fun. Okay, in agroup chat with former relational, former partners, with group friends is a big issue.Yeah, message their family. Inmultiple times a day for connection. Leaveme the fuck alone. I'm fine.That's good relationship. Butis he checking in for connection, or isday going? Great? Okay,I love that scandal is here, scandalous. I think there's two pages, two there is two pages. Okay, here's the one. He's the one. He's the one keeps a tight, small circle. It really makes new friends. Well, it's his choice, so hecan do that if he wants. I like making new friends because I think the new friends, because I think a new friend teaches me new things, and I want to grow and learn, and I like introducing new people. And some people fall off because they're no longer she had some interest. And so I think it's an evolving space for me. But if that guy is happy, same detrimental readyour messages instantly applies hours later, Nock off.Really? You read it, you reply. See, my tip here is just turn the reader function off. Yeah, no one knows. Yeah, because I do that all the time. I'm talking to my friends. I'm talking about a guy I like, vet people, they call me. She answers her phone. She's got two minutes to spare, just going somewhere. I do. I feel special, yeah, I. Don't like so girl, work, we've had this discussion. I messaged him like yesterday, and he doesn't responded, but with his line of work, like he's a shift worker, I'm like, just, can you just give him like you're not even together yet, like you're dating? Like, just give him a breath, like, let him breathe and let him respond in his own time. And he's thinking about what he wants to say. Maybe there are multiple other people, I don't know, but, well, exclusive. Well, the thing is, if they if they want you, they will, and they'll fit it in. Yeah. So if he hasn't messaged, it's been a day he's not interested. I literally was a guy a few weeks ago, as we all know, and I watched him and how he thinks, and he didn't reply to a woman who wanted him to reply until 12 hours later, because relationships have become thin. Yeah, the number onething is they answer, yeah, yeah, yeah, they respond. So just don't read it. If you don't read it, that's fine, but if you read it, you should be replying or turn your reader seats off. Yes, yes. Keep separate holidays with their own family. Tuitions separate with you, not invited, not that I want to go literally, that's my mind. But I want to be invited. Yeah, okay, okay, doesn't share you on social media. Oh, yeah, this came up in the British phone, didn't it?This is social media. You have to do. That's a statement.Are you joking? I i read a book full of guys that I dated, zero of them on my social mediarelationship status or show photos of them taking stories together. Icannot have written a book full of men and not pausing one on there and then put a replay for that, because I've been in it. Yeah, okay, maybe Okay. Mine is, like, after a couple of dates, getting serious, that's where my brain goes. Like, yes, we're going to do this. We're going to, you know, the first official photo. First official photo.Like, you know, who I've dated. Like, a few of them, they've been like, like,Some of them anyway, has a private apps, a private notes app. What app is that? What is he? What does he need? A private notes app for process feelings before sharing. Process feelings before sharing. Do you have that? Do you I'm trying to be like that. I would want nobody looking at diary. Yeah, emotionally intelligent.Yeah, that's how I feel. ButYeah, that's how I feel. Butyou didn't explain why you don't like it. I don't want to look at it, but it doesn't need to be private, because you just trust me to talk about it. Oh yeah, yeah, if I'm with someone, your decision I just I'm married, you know, whatever, there should be no secrets but, but also respect for the privacy, so I don't need to have it locked, because it's you just know, not to. I wouldn't pick up Anne's journal if I was you. I have Anne Marie gave me that journal. Okay, sothen you agree with me person I wasthinking about people in relationship, privacy in the relationship,marriage, all right, okay,our own definitely. Definition, yeah, it'sdefinition. Let's do three more questions. Um, still wears jewelry andX gave them what jewelry would in thanksgiving.yeah, I think I'm nothing here, me and not you. Like, now I'm 53 I mean, someone else who's, you know, my age, they have had a series of relationships. They've had, like, things happen they're allowed to have, bring their past with them. Yeah, it's different. Women have, like, melted down their wedding bands or wedding engagement rings, and then, like, read what to do with mine. Yeah?I can't, really never lost it. Has long term opposite sex roommates.Oh, it would depend how they interact with each other. Yes, it would depend on a lot. I need to observe the relationship. I mean, I guess I'd have to be okay with it. Basically.The question is, do you think other people have value? The opposite has value. You have sort of sexuality? Yes, I have male friends who have never suffered, but never slept with, and they would say, but yeah, yes. But if you and this is a personal experience, I think it starts relying on her, because she's always been there, and she says, she sounds like we're gonna run to her when she's something's happened, okay, you're very close.So she's she's formed the she'sin relationship with her being a relationship. Maybe she justwanted to keep her house neat. Please.Minimal social media footprint and will not respond to your DMS. Why respond to ideas?Why DME? Why can't you text respond to every singlemedia you have a platform, you respond to me, on Instagram, on Messenger, on text. I don't care. I don't really care about social media. If you don't move my text, and that's different, because that just shows you don't really prioritize social media. My son, David, the others, he's he's not on socials. He doesn't want socials, so he's going for created a social media account. He has zero followers and doesn't follow anyone so she could send him Instagrams, yes, and he's required to look at that and respond with that good on her. Yeah. Because you do want to share, I want to share means with people. Yeah, yeah. That's any form of communication. You have to see it and be is required. You know this grandma, the grandma, and she's like, dress update, like, you know, when they go, there's community days, and she's got all these different spices stuff to her, yes. See gotta share these things, yeah, but I just have a tick tock to a text. Focus, just tick tocks, yeah, yeah. It's nice, yeah. It's a way of connecting it. It is absolutely yes. Last question is for Megan. Megan, the question is, speed. What's the question works late nights with a tight team and frequent drinksafter so I do this. My routine is when I spend every minute of my life on them, otherwise weekend. So I work all day with them, and it's like, you get over them, but it's just you got sponsored, and you've got this and you got that. No, if I was to meet a guy who wasn't okay with it, I could not be okay. We had the discussion you and I, and we talked about stuff that you want to be a guy that adds value and get taken in life. So if you have to change too many things about your life. So if you have to change too manythings about your life to include him, yeah, he doesn'treally go on there. We needto talk about another pod that TV series coming in, not of the same religion, and he's a rabbi. And now we're at the point first episode where he basically loses his rabbi shit because she couldn't decide fast enough, because she was going to convert, right? And now that's what policy is gonna be about, right? How fascinating? Yeah, yeah, I at this point in my life, I know interesting something. Yeah, that's what she's saying. You do my company. Why do I need to change that part of me? Yeah? And make it so finite, when we could just enjoy each time, like we enjoy all of that. Yes, we love you to sign us off at this week.Do the whole last bit of the episode?Can I memorize? Thank you for listening to sex intimacySex painting. Thanks for listeningto sex in the one, an original podcast created by kbnb, produced by b and KB content by kbnb, enthusiasm for sex B and mostlyKB kbnb, you.