Sex with Lex Returns: Ball Gags, Kink & Clitoral Confidence (Part 2)

Welcome to Sex and the one the podcast with B and KV

getting down and dirty about all things, love, life, sex, dating and relationships.

Welcome back to episode two of sex

with Lex. I can't smell yapping. I cannot stop yapping.

We love it. We absolutely

love it, and we love all chats in relation to everything,

to the clitoris Yeah, and everything. I've got so much to talk about, I could just Yap all

day Exactly. Let's see if we feel like, okay, we will speak. But let's go.

Let's ask, hang on, hang on, hang on, hang on. Delete the question. No, I just looked that was like, Okay. Do you know what? Okay, okay, so you're gonna, actually, if you paid attention when you came to trivial,

oh, no, you might know some of these. Oh, I wasn't driving, so neither wasn't you. Therefore I don't remember.

Okay, we're gonna start with an easy one. All right, okay, all right. This is okay, true or false. Undetectable HIV viral load means the virus cannot be transmitted. True.

She doesn't have to know she's a marriage.

Oh, yeah, okay, well, yeah, so I don't know. Yeah, it's true, okay, true. Yeah, it's true.

No, I was just surprised because

I wasn't listening. Yeah,

you're surprised he wasn't listening.

Maybe I'm not surprised. I'm just disappointed. Fair enough. I love that. I love that they had a campaign called you equals you, so under undetectable equals untransmittable. I did know that. Yeah. So because

they consider that

theoretically, it's like a cure, isn't it like it's cured if you can't transmit

it, yeah. So people, once the

viral load is behind under 200 what is it? I've actually got it written here because I knew that I'd get it wrong when I tried to say it less than 200 copies per meal in blood. So that means, if, when you're taking a medication and it's undetectable, it's literally safer for you to have sex with someone who is in that position because, like, they can't It's doesn't exist in their body, yeah, but it can come back. So that's why you keep

taking your medication. Like having sex

with a pregnant person, you can't make them pregnant Exactly, yeah, it, I mean, so, yeah, it doesn't ever go away, like it will, it'll come back if you stop taking the medication. But if you're taking your medication, then it's under tight room condition.

All right. Now, okay, let's go, Okay. Well,

this is another one that you're gonna know the answer to, because we touched on it before. So true or false, the internal clitoral structure has more erectile tissue than the average penis

goods. That true, yeah, so true. More than 10,000 nerves. That's a lot. Has a lot. That's

crazy. It's cool. I mean, it makes sense, though,

Yeah, makes sense

capture, like, you know, when you do it, like, have an MRI or something, I'd love to

capture, like, a nerve ending. Yeah,

I think they've done that. I think I've seen photos of, like, something like that.

Yeah, for me, fascinating. There was one that I saw recently, and it was a bunch of different clitorises, or clitoris, clitoris, but it was like, you know, because they're all so different, and it showed them when they were engorged, when they were, you know, full of blood and that sort of thing. It's so interesting to see, like, you know, they are so similar to the penis in that way that, you know, when we aren't turned on, they become a lot bigger, they become erect, you know? And I remember seeing all of the different ones, and I was like, wow, like, they're all so different, you know, it's like anything. And you know, a big one that people talk about is vulvas. And you know, all vulvas look so different, and they do, and but people get really I speak to a lot of people who get really uncomfortable with, say, the presentation of their vulva, right? And

you don't realize what you're talking to here. Oh, no, I want

to have reconstruction. Why? Because I look like a turkey.

No, don't say that true. Okay, hang on.

But you know, was the social worker. It's really cool. This is our first anniversary. Like that was like, because in the very first episode, and she's and she's gonna be so, you know, after you've had four kids, you know, if you ever want reconstructive surgery, I go, No, I don't want any. She goes, No, no. But you can, if you want to, when I go, No. And then she then she's like, and then she went to the museum of desire and went, Oh, there's me on the wall.

Oh, do you know what is Do you know? Oh, gosh, comfortable in my skin is the Okay? The Instagram so Ali, she has a book called flip through my flaps.

Yes, we've heard about this. This is one of my favorite

books. And I'm like, every single young person should read it. They should read

it and then, and then B just needs to be happy with their

flaps. Yeah, it can be, but it's just like, you know, like, when you go get Botox, yeah, I get that sort of, yeah,

but you know that it might, like, enhance some stimulation, it could, it could do this, take it away, yeah.

So anyway, it's something I need to think about.

You know what? You know, what I always think if younger me had said that, or if some, a young person that I know, said that to me, I would be like, Oh my gosh, absolutely not. Like, you wouldn't encourage that for them, right? So be kind to yourself,

because things change over time. Because when I was younger, I was like, wanting to have a boob job and get my boobs and yeah, but I, but I was obsessed with that, and now I couldn't think of anything worse. I love them, and I did not. Yeah. So times things change, yeah, over time you're gonna fall in love the vaginas change. Your flaps are gonna be like the best thing ever. It's gonna be bees. Flaps are we need a slogan. Yeah,

we need a slogan. These best flaps,

these bits. Okay, anyway,

if I can. Okay. So this is going back to kink and yeah and that. So in BDSM, what does rack stand for? The acronym, rack, R, A, C, K, what does it stand for?

You did ask this? Didn't you risk?

Yes, assessment, no,

not fucking at work.

Risk, I haven't worked aversion, no,

okay, so it's risk aware. Oh,

risk aware.

Clitoris, no risk.

Risk aware. Communicate, no. Circumcision, knowledge, no.

You can guess the case. So what are we talking about? No, but what are we talking Okay, so that's the last. Risk aware,

risk aware. Risk aware, something kink,

risk aware, risk aware.

Okay, you know, okay, risk aware, consensual.

We really we shouldn't.

So actually, here's a bonus question, but it's relevant. Before rack was used, it's so thundery. So before rack was sort of the term used within the kink community, yeah. SSC was used as that's what people used to say, I practice. SSC, what does that

safe? Safe, yes, sex, pretty safe. SSC. SS what could SB, safe, something, consent, say, yeah,

sorry, safe, something, consensual. But what is the something? Something is this? Something? Something is not the word safe and sound, no, so it was safe, sane and consensual. And so they stopped using that, because you can't technically practice kink with it being safe. You can be that's why I say risk aware

now, because so someone with autism or ADHD come up with the correct term, yeah, because it wasn't

quite correct. Yeah. Well, it wasn't Yeah. So safe saying consensual is now a rack because, yeah, no, kink practices are technically safe. You know, there's risks that you take when you do it, and being aware of those risks and consenting to those risks is, have

you ever put a ball gag in the guy's mouth? Yes,

great, because I couldn't hear them

talk. We are gonna do besties for life. I agree. I have just recently, well, like, let me show I tell the Shall I share the story? Like, deep into Episode Two at this point, this is my story, how I had that horrible date a few weeks ago that I had that was very upsetting. And I had a girlfriend come in to me, and she said, Chris, you just and I said to her, the worst thing is, I want to get laid tonight. Never get laid, not that I wanted to do with him in general. I want to get laid. And so she goes to me, Chris, you just need to, like, put a bang over their head and have head and have a go. And we were laughing and hahaha. Anyway, the next day, she brings me this BDSM, like, fun kit with a ball gag in it. And she said, just, just pop that in. Pop it in. Anyway. I invited a friend of mine over, who I've been seeing on and off for a couple of years. You know, just a friend with benefits. Well, I may have sent him a picture of the ball, and he put it and he sent me an emoji back with a hand up volunteer as tribute, yes, and it's been given as a gift. I need to try it. And so, like, obviously I tried it is the best, yeah. And I never, I always saw myself more in the not consensual, I'm sensual, or if I was gonna be anything, was gonna be sub, not gonna sub. And I just loved the whole way in with the thing, you know, and like, shut up. You can't speak because you've got the polling in. Out.

You know what? When you get into that, and you're like, really into it, oh, it's fun, yeah? Oh, it's so much fun. It was kind of

a semi a joke, you know, because was given to me as a joke. It was a joke kid. It wasn't like a real kid, but, oh yeah,

I'm down. It's dangerous. Like, when you get into that, you're like, Oh, I think I could do this dumb thing, yeah. Like, I couldn't really lean into this. Yes. Tell me

about your experience with she had a real guy because mine had a pole in the middle. Oh, no. You know what? I've done quite a few different

things, and as I said, like I've been told, like, I've been to a lot of kink events, you know, in Melbourne and that sort of thing. And I've done a lot of sort of dominatrix stuff with men, and it's been really good, because it's actually helped me a lot with my confidence and sort of my ability to so I've been saying this is, like, my most recent thing is I will do anything that I think an average straight white man will do, right? Because they, they will unapologetically Do it, do whatever. Great way to think of that. So that's my life. Now. I'm like, You know what? I've second guessed myself for too long. But honestly, doing like, being in a DOM role with a man really helps. Because I was like, Oh yeah, actually, like, I'm in charge, and I can do this. And you know what, some men love it, like, the way that they will submit is it's hot. Yeah, I find it really

hot. I'm like, the other thing too is, like,

it's nice to just, I mean, from their perspective, you can imagine they're just lying down, taking imagine, they just lie down, taking

whatever you feel like doing. How relaxing? Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then you do what you feel like doing, they have to worry at all whether she's enjoying it, because she's controlling it exactly. It's easier for them. If you feel like sitting on their face, you're just gonna sit on their face. I'm gonna make sure that there's consent. Obviously, I can't ask if he's gagged. Yeah, you can. Well, yeah, right, with, like, safe words and stuff, they don't necessarily have to be words like, because if someone has got a ball gag, like, they need to be able to say, No, that's enough sort of thing. So, you know, you have those conversations first. Yeah, if you don't like that, I think I did that. I'm just trying

to think if I had a conversation, but I think I did. I think I said, like, tap a couple of times. You're out. There was no tapping. It's really

good. Everyone was

loving life. It all like caught up in our BDSM.

Oh, you did a quiz, yeah. Did you do that online? Was it the BDSM,

the one where it's like green to red? I actually think

if you I'm gonna give up Christmas, or if you had a BDSM kit and did the same as me, use it as a joke. I think you think you'd quite enjoy it, you know, like, don't take don't take it seriously. I mean, obviously you don't want to do but, yeah,

I'm looking outside and I'm thinking, is

that looks dangerous? Yeah, yeah, it does. We're not gonna go anywhere. Do we have more

questions? Okay, yeah, we do questions. All right, told you the kick, well, would take us very far. Wow, we've already done the kink and fetish thing, so we'll, yep, well, I'm gonna go. This one was also in the trivia that you went to, so that's why you're asking me to say, if I listen, it's a test, right? It's fun one. It's a fun one. True or false. The average early fans creator earns a ride 150 to $180 a month. Oh, no, that was

true. True. Yeah. Why

the why is it not enough? Yeah. It not enough? Yeah, exactly.

I'm not surprised, because it's like, it's, yeah, it's like, a lot of businesses out there that, you know, only the top, top, top, top, top people. Yeah, you know what? There's,

I think the people who are earning lots and lots of money. Firstly, it's their, probably their sole income. But also they've probably got, like, managers and agents and people who are

running all that stuff. Yeah, there's a sex worker online who I follow. I just love. Her name is Jade, and she's got 30 people that work for her, yeah, yeah, 30, oh, she's the best. She's autistic. And Jade, I want to send you the Yeah, she's the best. She's very, very interesting. And she talks about the whole industry, the good, the bad, you know, the whole lot.

She was pregnant. I was like, watching this. I'm

like, what? And she's

on and she's off to have she's got a couple booking with her periods. They're just popping a sponge up there. Yeah, apparently,

yeah, if you're in the Yeah, yeah. And I would use that just normally, yeah? Well, maybe she should brand them. She did the thing with Bush. Yeah. God, I love her content. Yeah? Address. Oh, my God. You know what? Some people have

really strong opinions about her. Why? I don't know. I talked to people like, Oh, don't like her. And I'm like, why about her? Well, they can't articulate it. I think she's fabulous. She's only what she does. She talks honestly about what she does. She also does has great boundaries. She does

involve her children. She keeps that separate. She like, we all know she has them, but we don't have to see them. I think she's really think she's, she's doing it really,

really well. So good. Like, obviously, she's, she's a huge, you know, she earns a lot of money from it. Like, that's her only income. So good. I love seeing her win. The industry win. Okay, what do you do for a living? And if that, maybe that's what people have an issue with, really. But today, because here's what you do, I think she's she's sharing it so vulnerably sharing it well, she's articulating what she does. She's articulating what she does. She's not lying about it. Do you think it's like, I think, I think women don't want to see women like to see women do shit you like to win, to a certain perspective, sorry, to a certain extent, yeah. And then, and then Alan, people that will

complain about, you know, sex workers that will then still work porn. And it's like, where do you think that comes from, that sex workers doing that? Like, what favorite porn? Asking questions again. No, I finished. I've asked my five questions. All my questions, what's the question? What's your favorite porn? Like, genre, well, genre website like, What's What are you into? Do you know what I've actually just because I just finished my masters of sexology, finally. Yeah. Finally, I know. And the last thing that I did was actually on ethical porn. And you know the impact? Of sexual scripts, particularly when young people or young adults, and that actually brought to light a lot of issues with the porn that I was watching. So I was just getting my porn from, like, Pornhub or whatever, like, you know, and I tell you what I love. MMF, I buy. MMF,

Oh, yeah. Breakdown. Oh, male, male, female.

I love it. So I looking around. There are creators that I, you know, I do, you know, know, from the industry and from that sort of thing, and, you know, the kink scene, and I will support them, and I will watch that content. But now I'm like, I don't know where to get my content from, because I don't like, you don't know what you're watching on warm hub. You don't know if that's like, Have you, have you watched Melissa? That's my I did. I used to. But I realized that I'd watched it all, and you can pay, Yeah, but see now that makes me sound bad, because I was like, no, no, I didn't want to pay. Yeah, no, but I

could now, and I paid during covid Because I'd

watch it. Yeah, I should now. But you know what I will say, I have the satisfy a pro. I don't even need porn,

yeah? And that's satisfying enough. That is weird, not sponsored, but we should be so they should sponsor. Like, honestly, we can tag them everywhere. Like, I've got a story about that. Like the guy who knows my

lawn story messaged me a couple months ago

and said, Oh, Chris, I finally got around to watching you pot. I think I never told you about because I saw the signs through your window. Yeah, bless your lawn mower guy, yeah. Like, what, what? Yeah, this is all surprised he said. He said I sounded very confident and very clear and good on me. That is such a nice that's nice. That was pretty good, yeah, and I don't really know him well enough to have any conversations with him about that, so yeah, took a few

male listeners, like regular listeners, really my best husband listens more than my bestie. Yeah? Hope you heard

me, James, because you love

my brother in law. Yes. Reggie mentioned Reggie. He listens at 5am yeah, comes out. Yeah. My sister never had an

episode. I will say that is, you know, I like that.

Okay, now I feel like I'm a bad

listener my coffee. This is a post coffee podcast, yeah, that's completely anytime the day you want. You can do whatever you want with your body and your time. We're into consent here yesterday by a guy who we were chatting about, like, you know, we had met him, I'd match with him. And he said, Oh, Chris, I've seen your content on Instagram, and you're you're on the left. No, no, you're on the right. Which one would I be? You're on the right, I'm on the right. Anyway he goes, I make political content, I'm on the far left. So we wouldn't be suited.

No, I think isn't the other lady. Oh, I got told

off really into politics. No, left is like lefty, because, like, Trump is right. Oh no, yeah, so Oh, is he Yeah. Oh, well, I didn't know that I was. I feel like the sex page is a sex page. I don't feel like I was making any political statements on that. No, no, his political stance, yes. Anyway, he probably thought he was the funniest person in the world as a family and this couple right next to us, they had the biggest argument politically. I thought they were having a wonderful time. Actually thought they'd get it on front of us at one point. Front of us and my kids and everything like that. And older couple, I actually quite enjoyed a conversation like, I thought, like a beautiful bond, lovely connection. And my husband was them like they're out and they're older, enjoying some wine and

cheese together, and then the next minute, they like, she, she left. Yeah, Trump, yeah. How fast, yeah. Well, this guy said that to me, Oh, I had several experiences. Recently, I had another guy. I've been chatting for two hours, and sounds like a really guy. And I go, how long have you been single? He goes, Oh, well, I'm not. Oh. I go, What do you mean? I go, you everyone, you know, whatever. And he's like, no, no, I guess. Does she know you're on here? And he goes, No. And he goes, I go, so you're wanting to chat with another woman. You've now put me in a position where I'm chatting to you. I said, like, what are you doing? Like, like, basically, I said, How do you do that to me, you know, like, and also to her, obviously. And I said, I said, he goes, what? I haven't done anything, so it doesn't count. I said, if she doesn't know you're on an app and you're talking to another woman. Oh, yeah, that's intention, yeah, yes. What's a verbal? KB, good, yeah, that's not okay. It's not okay. It's just, you know what? It's the dishonesty and like, you can't get that trust back nice once you've broken that whole woman thinks she's got this awesome guy who he thinks he's doing nothing wrong because he's only chatting to people. Oh,

that's a whole novel. Yeah, it's chaos.

This is our one. Anyway. Shall

we? Shall we say? Thank you so much. And I think, I think we're at the point now we're gonna, we're gonna say she's gonna be a senator,

yeah, I reckon she's a

regular, yeah, yeah, you have a recent

personality to us on the table, like, you know, whatever, we love that. Oh, good, yeah, yeah.

Well, that's like me. No, TMI, until next

time everyone, we will see you next week, and don't forget to have clitoral orgasms if you can.

Oh, the whole weight, we've got something really exciting coming up. Oh yes,

very excited about this one as well. Because. Yeah. So our clitorally trivia, we're doing 21 night, yeah, very exciting. We've got our 631 which is just our regular sexy, fun trivia, and then we've got our 9pm after dark trivia, which I'm so excited about that's gonna be like, fun, kinky, spicy. We love it. So 14th of November,

you will learn multi

prizes are phenomenal. Sponsors are just this. We love it. So, yeah, because it's all people in

a similar community, it's all so such a beautiful feel. A beautiful feeling. We loved it. We loved it. So we highly

recommend, yes, 14 to Megan. It's in Brunswick. Yep. Where can we get a ticket? Go to our Instagram page. The links on there, so clearly trivial, literally, trivia, and we'll put

your Instagram handle. Yeah, get tickets. It's gonna be a fun

night. Yes, thank you. Then, thanks for

listening to sex in the one, an original podcast created by KV and B, produced by b and KB, content by KB and B. Enthusiasm for sex B and mostly KV, you.