Open Marriages, OnlyFans, Dating Apps & Why Everyone’s Lying

Hi, I'm KB and I'm Bea, and we are so grateful to have you listening to our podcast. Please don't forget to hit the subscribe or the follow along button so you never miss an episode. It really means the world to us. Thanks for listening. Welcome to Sex and the one, the podcast with B and KB, getting down and dirty about all things, love, life, sex, dating and relationships. We've lost it. This week's been an interesting one. It has we are what's going on? Lots, lots, lots, pop culture wise, you know, like there's heaps I know I like staying up to date with my little reality TV show drama, yeah, yeah. And, you know, as they call reality TV, reality TV for a reason, it's real life, which is why I don't watch it. I actually see this is, well, this is the argument they're saying that parts were descriptive now, like it's gone off on tangents. Producers are producing more, or the cast sometimes producing themselves, to the point where, like, they'll throw things off on a tangent or act to make drama happen so it's more watchable. So people are talking. And now, guess what? Here I am talking, yeah. Well, and I think as we do watch it. We were just discussing earlier that like, drama is something that people are all very interested in. I don't tend to be interested in drama. And the reason why I'm not interested in drama is not because there's something wrong with me, but it's because my life is your life. It tends to be a bit taxing. Well, it's interesting when, because I have this, happen to be regularly people coming and go, Oh, you know, you have to follow such and such on the on the thing, because she's so funny to hear her dating stories. And so I'll go follow hear the dating series. And it's not an ego thing, like, as in, like me too. It's more like me too, you know, like, it's more like the not, if you're gonna call it a negative thing, it's more like the negative part of it. And I've done it as well, and I've been there, and so I don't necessarily want to hear it from someone else, because I'm not interested, but just because it's like, okay, we're both in the same boat. That's cool. Oh, it's funny. I don't want the drama in my life, like, I want peace, yes, because I can't regulate, I can't live like in that state, yes, but I have to do this one second, yes, thank you, because it's been annoying. I don't even know. Yeah. I don't want drama in my life, but sometimes to switch off from like, work and life. I watch drama, yes, yeah, yeah. What is attractive about that for you? Because I get it, like, I get it like, why is is it self regulating for you? Because it's not your life, I think so. Yeah, I literally will take me maybe two weeks to watch one episode, because I fall asleep, yeah? Like, it's not even what it is. I think it's just like, the noise in the background. And then you get caught up in, like, you know, when you're on tick tock, you're swiping and like, Oh, they're talking about that show I'm watching. And then you'll get caught up in the 32nd tick tock, and you know what's going on in the episode, just from 32nd tick tock, yes. And that's, that's, yeah, where I was coming from, about the secret lives of Mormon wise. I know you don't really watch that, but there's a whole will get started with these group of mums doing, like, what they call mum talk. So they just dance together. They're from Salt Lake City. They're all the religion of the Latter Day Saints, so they're all Mormons, and they look at life a little bit differently to what the church would otherwise probably want them to, and they show that side of their life. So I think from that aspect, I was intrigued, because I'm like, that's not what I thought a Mormon was. And they go off on tangents and they, you know, there was a swinging scandal in season one between a couple of the girls, in their part their husbands, and now there's a cheating scandal with two of the girls. So what season are they up to? Nothing. It's two. I think we're up to two. And is this like a show, or it's a reality TV show. Two of the girls have been on Dancing with the Stars in the US, right? Like they've got they've just gone completely, I'm so excited. Yes, yes. She's real housewives, mom, real lives, and mom and wife, not really. Yeah, she's one that's been on the outs, like they've outed her. And actually quite mean. Anyway, so I'm not really up to date. I almost all haven't finished the season. But the point is, what's going on on socials is all about this guy that's in this villa reality TV show that Lisa Vanderpump, she's a producer of that, and she owns this villa. He and one of the wives from these shows apparently got together so they were trying to expose this on the show. And what actually transpired and has come out is one of the other girlfriends has gone and questioned him face to face and said, Did this happen between you and Denise? And he's like, No, well, we kissed, but this actually happened between me and Jesse. And now that's what the next season. That's how it starts. It's explosive. But now what you see is two girlfriends going at it. What they were best friends. And now you see two girls real, well, I'm not sure on a TV show, why are you doing that? Like, as, if you can, I know. I know. Like, it's silly to think that you're not going to. So now she's had to basically air her dirty laundry. She didn't want the world to know, officially, her and her husband, she told her husband what had happened. So apparently it was just a kiss, but now it's gone into full when he has said the mantras, the guy, yeah, has said we had sex. And she's like, No, we didn't. So this is all on film, though it's all on tape now, but now it's gone off film, basically, like they stopped recording for the show, and it's all on tick tock, and he's come out, like the guy that's involved, or the husband is now, you know, blaming Demi for saying something that wasn't true. And it's, it's chaotic, offline, chaotic, and everyone's confused and like, wondering what's actually real. It was about to say, interesting. What is the truth? And also, why do we care? It is it is fascinating. I also, because I just moved to America recently as Yes, and I had a really interesting experience there with the porn. Go from a swinging to cheating now we're going to keep our people, keeps all related. And I was thinking about, like, so basically, I tried to get on. I was, like, confronted with this video of how I'm gonna have to put in all of my details, like provide my passport, basically, to be able to watch the porn, because you need to prove that you're a certain age and who you are watching the porn, right? Was it just for you to have to do that? Or did everybody or did everybody in America put their passport details, well, their ID, ID? Yeah, yeah. And so I was like, wow, wow. And I presume it's to prove your old age, but basically it's, like, incredibly intrusive, right? For people like me. I don't care, because I don't have a secret about Yeah, in that regard, and all that sort of stuff. But it's a very interesting thing. And I think a lot of things have happened that have come into that, like, you know, with the shows, he's telling me, it's how things are perceived versus how things really are. And I think, I think there's a lot of cheating, and there's a lot of things that go down that you in real life, yeah, that people don't know about. Yeah, I think it's everywhere. I think it's everywhere anyway, the rest of my porn story, because, anyway, the point of that, that story was the porn up, you know, when you log in is husband cheats on wife while she's at work, step out, blah, like, so all of the names of the porn are all of about cheating. Like you are attracted to watch the porn based on that. They're not supposed to be with that person. That's all fake. But that's what's that's what's interesting to people. But what's funny is I actually, I thought I'm not giving him my ID, like, I just didn't want to do it as it wasn't interested to be bothered to do it. And I got on belisa, which is the women's only born, and I got straight through, policing the women's porn, policing the men's porn, isn't that interesting. Yeah, that's why they should. Yeah, I'm fine with that. Yeah. What type of form they watch that they want to monitor? I don't know, because maybe it's a way to also filter and, you know, I guess, capture things that aren't so ethical. Yeah, maybe, well, there's definitely a lot of disgusting, unethical things on porn, which is why everyone says ooh, when I use the word, because people are like, they assume that. They assume the worst, because that's what they're thinking about. They're not realizing this whole other side to it, which is, you know, seductive and beautiful, and, like, I'm always watching massage ones, and, you know, like, all the really nicely well done, yeah. Have you ever paid for the only fans ones? Yeah. Like, have you ever been only fan? I reckon we need to research, no, but I do have a story about paying for porn. Okay, let's talk about that. Let's talk about that as well. So I the other day, I mean, my PayPal, you know, the PayPal account, right? And I get this a charge for $85.87 it's enough that I was like, all the time, I use it, yeah, yeah, okay. I use it for, like, you know, the wolver shopping, yeah. I buy things, sell things, yeah. Okay, yeah.Anyway. So it's so it has this thing, 85 go and have a look. It says epoch, E, P, O, C, H, and I'm thinking, what the hell's epoch? So then I searched Google, epoch. Oh, no, I've been scammed. But luckily, with PayPal, you don't really worry. Oh, my God, did you, like, ask for a refund? No, I was, no. I was, let's get there. So at this point, the payments pending. I tried to cancel the payment. I couldn't cancel the payment. I thought, I'm not worried, because the paper will, yeah, so the payment goes through. A couple of days later, I have a look, and I'm like, I went to go create a transaction dispute, which is what you do, you don't think the payments for you. So I'm making this dispute, and I'm looking, I'm looking at what it is, and like, you know, start to have the details. Oh, I've made details. Oh, I've made this payment in 2022 2023 2024 2025 right? I'm thinking, what on earth have I paid for? I haven't noticed for the last three years that I've paid for this thing. Anyway, in the very tiny small print, it's the dorsal Club, which is, which is, well, it's like a European BDSM type. And did you watch this covid? I must have paid for something at some point, because I remember paying for porn and covid, and I must have pressed subscribe, which is, which is, yeah. And so I have wasted three years. Oh, you better. You better capture that awesome porn. And I haven't, and I hadn't, yeah, so, yada yada yada. I did not create a transaction dispute, because I would have subscribed to that at some point that realizing and so now I'm watching Four years worth it this year. Yeah, have you started? When I first Get to be lesser different, like the one that I watched yesterday was of this guy who gets home from work and there's all of these candles all throughout his house, and he has to follow the line of candle to the bedroom, and there's this beautiful red bed sprayed in the house, and the bedroom looks beautiful. And the wife's in a chair saying, sit down, my husband. I've got a present for you for your birthday. And he's like, What present? What is this like? Are we going to be doing something? Because she's wearing lingerie, and he's got his full suit on. And then she says, no, no, I've arranged something for you. So she puts a blindfold on him. And so he sits on the bed with his wonderful so he expects the wife to come and start doing some stuff. She's got a third woman. So the third woman appears and starts doing stuff. And then he says, what's going on? This is really fun. And then she talks to him from the other side of the room, and he says, It's not you. And she's like, No, enjoy husband. And she just watches, yeah, and then she joins in later. Oh, wow, yeah, hello. Yes. I loved it. Yes, beautiful, really, beautifully done. It was special. It wasn't disgusting, those disgusting terms of, you know, like, hot milk, young, there was just none of that. It was just, like, it was hell. Can you join his birthday present? Oh, happy birthday, husband. Yeah, fake husband. That's okay, yeah, some things are fake, but real exactly. I was fine with that anyway. I'm gonna be doing that every day. That was gonna come out. I didn't plan that, yeah? But, you know, speaking of speaking only fans, I found out I'm behind on some things, and I'm behind on Reddit, which apparently happens in the world. You can look it up on Reddit like a Google and so you type in any of the only fans, creators, and you will see short videos of videos of their videos, yeah, oh, you have to show me. Yes, I will. I did type in a couple of names, and saw some stuff. Okay, I had a dinner with a girlfriend in the know, and they know, yeah, yeah. We just don't know some things. I don't know a lot of things, yeah. Speaking of the drama, drama and things, have you heard the latest Lily Allen album? I actually haven't. I've heard great things about it, and I have not. I don't know anything about filming. I She is my soul sister. I'm aware she doesn't know who I am and that I exist at all. But I feel like we are in the same, you know, like we are the same the latest album, like, so everyone knows all the famous songs, of course, you know, like, fuck you. And everyone's had that guy that's most beautiful guy that just like, comes in two seconds. Everybody's had that guy that said that guy, they have no they haven't, but that's okay. Okay. Anyway, so she's, she's done this new album, which apparently, I found out that she wrote in 10 days, or something, recorded in 16 days. Like she just basically, you know, yeah. But the reason why I love it, I love it for lots of reasons, but the reason why I love it is it's a story. So it's like listening, it's like reading a book, but they're songs. So you listen to the entire album from start to finish. You don't just listen to the hits or anything, because you want to hear what happens in the story. Okay, so you're going, Oh, hang on. Oh, okay, you're a West End girl. Okay, so you got into this play. Okay, so what happens in the play? And then by the end of the album, you're like, oh my god, I can't believe that happened to you, like in your marriage. And she just basically reveals every dark secret she's ever had in her marriage. Are we gonna SPOILER ALERT this? Because I have listened, but you can't say that now and they're not telling me, like, well, there's, well, I probably shouldn't SPOILER ALERT it too much, but there's, there's a fair bit of bug eating going on in there, and lots of expanded sexual awareness things, yeah, and, but what's beautiful about her is, and she's always been like this, and I've heard her interview to say this before, is she says, I don't, I don't have an issue with people saying things about me behind my back, because I'll just have to their face. I'll just, I'll just, I'll announce every single secret I have, and then they've got nothing on me. And I understand that concept, because when I published my book, although I'm not famous in like, here, all over the world, I felt the same in that, like, there's no one can, no one can say anything about me that I haven't already said about myself. Yes, yes, go for so the Salt Lake City households. Yes, there's this couple on there. She's significantly younger than her very, very, very, very wealthy husband. She had a daughter with a child with someone before him. She was at 19 when she had her first and only child. Anyway, they've now connected. I'd say he's in his 60s, and she's maybe in his early 40s, right, mid 40s. He was seen, obviously, he's known like he's been on the show a few times. Not many people like him, like he's very direct, very cold, and she's nothing like that. He was on a plane and he was sexting or texting other women, and people on the plane could see that he was looking at other women. And someone brought it up with her, and she goes, Yeah, actually, I'm gonna address this. And she dressed it on camera with him, because she's sick of this shit. And she said, What is this true? And he said, Yes. And she goes, Look, I'm happy to stay married to you, but if you need other things in our marriage, can you just tell me I'm happy to be open. If you want it to be open, if you need other things and we stay together, then let's do that. And I was just like, I can't believe everyone's so surprised in the reality world that this is what you know, is saying, what scripted, what's not, what's real, what's not. Lily Allen clearly sharing everything. She's like, what's the point of hiding on a fucking reality TV show? People are gonna find out anyway. Yeah, so I'm just gonna say, Todd, do you want an open marriage? I think she has hinted a few times that this might be for them. Okay, so she's happy to go look very oftentimes, what I've seen is women doing things to please the men, like opening up their marriage, because the man needs this and the man needs that, but then really, well, possibly, but then she also needs financial stability, so she doesn't want to, she doesn't want to leave, no. So perhaps she likes that, like, Well, you saw that with the we both saw MJ the musical, yeah. Mj's dad, yeah, just, you know, was pretty clear. He was cheating multiple times, did lots of things, and he just went. Sometimes a man's do what a man's gonna do, do they Yeah, well, no, they don't know. They're not watching the ball, but yeah. Anyway, Lillian is the bomb.com and you do, what are you doing to the point where, what are you doing? I bought tickets because they're in London next year. I was like, well, you bought tickets. Okay, where are you going? Yeah, Rod labor arena. No, I'm going to London. I'm seeing three shows. KV takes it to the extreme every time Lily Allen is, are you gonna know every song? She's just the best. I love. Hope you meet her. Yeah, let's, let's put it. Let's put it out there. Katie's gonna meet her. I want to meet her. Yeah, yeah. She's just, she's just the best. She's like, I appreciate significantly women who are prepared to be honest about themselves in their lives. And it educates other women so much, and she's not doing it her drama. No, she's doing it from humble, yeah, humble, beautiful, loving place. And I just, yeah, I adore her. And so where has it ended? Like, what's the end of the story? Well, she's living in Libra after playing songs about about her love life or lack thereof, yeah, yeah. Well, I don't know what happens happening in your life right now for the next album. So how long ago did they separate? Last year? Okay, yeah, okay, yeah, I need to listen what's going on with your dating. My dating story update, because I actually haven't spoken to you. No, it's so funny because I went, I went overseas, and I had a very awesome family holiday. I'm not interested in dating at all. While I was over there, I just didn't want someone like I just, I didn't need, I'm looking for someone who has value. And on my family holiday that would have taken away. Have taken away time for my family. Yeah, they were the value, and they were my value 100% it's becoming increasingly hard, hard to be interested in replacing, you know, finding the time for a maybe, yeah, because I don't have time for babies anyways, I don't care. Invested. I don't need one, so I don't know. It doesn't matter. I'm just I'm having just as much fun. More fun not Yeah, anyway, yada yada, I am. Came home, and I was like, did you know when I'm 30 amps? I was like, they're made for to make money. They're not made to help you. I still agree with all of that. And then I joined mine as well. But have you joined one and paid Correct? Yes, I paid. Which one are you paying? So I paid for Bumble. Yeah. I just decided that. Have you ever paid for Bumble? Nock? Paid for Bumble? Paid for that just to see what my experience would be improved. Answers, yes, I actually wrote a sub step on this that came up today. My writer friend over here, if you're interested in this story about sex in the real life, yeah, on the real world, yeah. Well, that's because it's like, it's Mormons. Like, sorry. Yeah, I'm sorry. Not one of them. That's okay. Anyway. So I wrote a sub second because it's like, as soon as you enter the dating world, it's, what are you looking for? What are your goals with? And annoyed if you can't answer that, and I won't answer that, because I don't believe I should put people boxes in that regard, I get it. If you're in your like, 30s and you want to have kids and you don't want you don't want to date someone whose intentions aren't serious. I get that in my 50s. I'm I don't, it doesn't. I don't know what role you're gonna play, yeah, and I don't care. Yeah, I would never say it to a woman that I met. Or what are you looking for? Like, I don't know. We want to go to the movies or doing a podcast together. I don't know. And so I feel like that. And so I get on the app and I match with a guy who had like to be and I found out that he liked me. And I did back and I was just profile, like, watching back. And his first was, I want to be on the other donuts. There was a picture of eating me. And so I go, Chris, come down. Come down. You've got to like, like, it's a one comment. You can do this. Like, you know I do. And so then I go, I messaged back, actually, I wish I had the donut again. That donut again. That was Alicia donut. I'm just like thinking just next message, I want to suck your toes. Okay? I said, Goodbye, Simon fact that you went to the effort to get that up again and you made a payment to get that Yeah, yeah. And like this is, like, this is how we roll. Like this is and like. So I am trying not to be cynical. It is very tricky, because you're just going, Why am I giving you any benefit of any doubts? Anyway, I did have, I've had some good chats on there. I haven't met anyone from at this stage, but I probably will. But I don't care. I'm not I'm not invested. You're not necessarily under the FD, either. And I chatted with another guy that was an author, very lovely guy. We chatted for a couple of days. I wasn't really feeling anything, but he seemed really nice. And I thought, Chris, if he seems really nice, just probably see how we go. And then he says, Chris, I find you captivating. And of course, we've been chatting for dinner. Okay, we have not been spoken on phone. How can you be captivated by some time, I'm captivating. I know whatever, and and so I go, of course, I am sick like, I'm happy to admit that like I am. I go, give me my words, my looks like, What? What? I had a cynical reaction. Then he says, I find you breathtaking. Okay, I go. So then at this point, I go, so you don't like being complimented on, not by somebody who doesn't even know me. Yeah, if it's seeing you and you maybe said that, that might be called breathtaking, really, honestly. Well, not really. I can't take on comments. I mean, you're talking to the wrong person. I need to understand why he would go to these links he's describing. I have high self esteem. I do not think that I'm an ugly person. Happened to me. I do not think that I'm a bad heart, you know, whatever, but I am not breathtaking and like, that is not a mean thing to say about myself. It is just I'm very aware of where my physical reality is. I'm not in LA, LA, land of it, and I don't care. I'm doing the eye rolling. Chris, calm down. Calm down, because I'm get reaction. I react really easily, like, I'm aware I do. And so I said to him, listen, thank you very much. I appreciate the compliment. It's not really for me. It's not where I'm at, like, I just, it's not something that I like. And you know, thank you very much. I appreciate the intent was there. Thank you. Then that causes the beast to come. Yeah, because he, he meant that seriously and fair enough for him. I said to him, he said to me, it's not a compliment of the fact, okay, so I'm like, okay, all right. I said, I said, that's fine. And he said, basically. Said, well, where's your opinion come from? How do you how you ever gonna fall in love if you can't take compliment? I said, Oh, he goes. If that's your goal, to find someone. I said, Well, actually it's someone. I said, Well, actually, it's not my goal. I don't have a goal. I said, but I know it's yours. So, like, that's where he's coming from, because he's looking for someone, and he thinks, like, would be it, after a day and a half of chatting and I and I respected that, like, old enough that he fit the category, I suppose, and he was, I'm not saying he's a bad person at all, but I just, I guess that wasn't for me. I turned into a full blown like text back and forth where he basically said that that was a huge compliment I should and I should really have a hard look at myself about not being able to accept a compliment and that there's a compliment. And I'd said to him, Listen, it's just because I've had 1000s of dating experiences where guys say things with varying levels of intentions, and I just don't want to be appreciated for my physical visibility. I prefer to be like, you know, seen for what I do and the person I am and what I contribute to side, etc, etc. And he said, he said, Well, you're never going to find a man the way you're acting. There's something wrong with you. And he said, and I said, Well, he goes what he goes off. So people have real good intent that, like, you know, you have a go at them having a real I said, Listen, I get, you know, I said, I get what you're saying. I'm telling you, this is how I feel. I can't change how I feel. Yes, it is rooted in some things that like have happened to me. And so therefore I've made some decisions about that. Yes, it is. It's true that it's true that I'm reacting to this because of what's happened to me, but it still happened to me. I can't make it not happen to me, like, you know what I mean? So therefore that's how it is. And so especially arguing is also men objectifying women. That's been a problem for all of ages, has it? And I went, well, actually, yes, misogyny has existed for all of ages, which I hadn't raised. I was just telling him I felt uncomfortable with what he said. He just didn't like the fact that you reject him. No, and I wasn't even rejecting him. I just politely say that. I don't say that wasn't picking up what he was putting down in that regard. Anyway, he started quoting the Shakespeare sonnets to me and how that men in Shakespeare's time revered women and their beauty. And I said, he goes, you tell me this problem with that? And I go, Well, yeah, actually, I am saying there's probably that, because in Shakespeare's time, people women weren't even allowed to perform on the stage. Perform on the stage. The women's roles were played by men because they were so subservient to men. So yeah, I am saying that. He goes, Well, you're saying this problem with the whole history anyways. Oh, for fuck sake, this whole range. And I thought, how do you block these people? You have broken the beast. And so I said, You're perfect. This is how I ended it. You're perfect. I get it. Thank you very much. Goodbye. And like, Look, I'm not even having a go at him, necessarily, because he's just doing his best to meet someone that he's interested in, yes, but like, read the room and day in, like, you know, like, I didn't respect that, I didn't agree with him, educated, appreciate that, and we just would not, like, you know what I mean, just would not look, I don't think he was probably expecting the reaction that he got from you. No, I suppose I was glad. Yeah, yeah, you're supposed to be flooded. And not many women would have the guts to actually say, Look, that's lovely. But actually, do you know any woman, though, like, do you know women that would actually be excited about being called breathtaking? Not really. I mean, on my wedding day I would expect to be called breathtaking, yeah, you know, yeah. That's, that's, that's probably the appropriate Yeah, context to use that word. If you've never met someone, you came in today when I thought, Oh, gee, that looks good today. I do not tell you breathtaking. That's, that's a word. That's a big word. It's a big word. It's a big word. I did say to you, you looks great, but yeah, probably not breathtaking today. KB, yeah. Anyway, have a great week, everyone. We can't wait to see you next week. Bye. Thanks for listening to sex in the one, an original podcast created by KB and B, produced by b and KB, content by KB and B. Enthusiasm for sex B and mostly KV you, Nock, you.